Episode 3 (Day 435)

Let's start with what's important. The Yyyyankees win! Yankees win! Thank God they finally have won a series against the team that shall not be named. Take that Beantown! Ok, now onto more salient material.

I'm in Buffalo today visiting two very good friends and being BFF to their daughter. In trying to decide what to blog about I realized that both topics that I'm deciding between are sort of a bummer. I almost decided not to write on either topic, but then remembered that the purpose to this blog is to be real and give a real voice to RSD. So, I'll tell you the two topics and blog about one. the first is about going on trips with other people and the pitfalls of being the one that holds everyone up. The second is about the consequences of having children. While the first may eek out some pity from my faithful followers, the second is sure to terrify my father who is probably reading this at this very moment wondering if Jon and I have something to tell him and my Mother. So of course we will be talking about having children.

Rest assured Dad, this particular discussuon is in the hypothetical. For those of you who don't know him, Jon is a wonderful man who also happens to love me despite my many flaws. (Yes I have more flaws than just the RSD). So because of this we have discussed marriage and all that entails. Mom, unplug your ears, this is important! There is a lot more about my relationship thaT will be blogged on, but for now, children.

I am here in Buffalo playing with a beautiful child who sees right past my cane (which by the way she thinks is a new toy for her) and adores her "Aunt Betsy.". And I can't help but wonder, how will RSD affect the lives of my children? Will I be able to carry them with one arm and use the cane? Will I be able to play soccer and basketball with them? Or how about a simple game of Hide and Go Seek? Will I be able to be the tickle monster without worrying about them accidentally hitting my foot? Will they still believe that I can slay the mosters in their closet if I can't even climb up the steps? Will they think that I am weak? Will I embarass them?

Ok, that's a lot of questions. I don't really have answers to most of them. I can say that I hope so and of course not and all the other fantastically positive things that I'm sure is the knee jerk reaction from most of you. But I'm not going to say any of those things because these are very real fears that I have. But I will say this, I plan to teach my daughter how to be a kick-butt point guard even if it's on one foot. I plan to take advantage of the support that Jon and my family are offering and let them carry the baby if I need them too. I also plan to decorate my cane so that my son thinks it is a light-sabre from Star Wars that slays all monsters. And most importantly, I plan to never ever give up looking for the treatment that works for me and my family.

Now I'm not married yet and certainly have no children. But I think that Jon and I will adjust to this (when it happens) with the things that work best forus. Love and communicatio. These two critical things will help us to figure out the rest.

The Nitty Gritty
I didn't sleep well last night and the pain today is pretty up there. Right now it's at a 6 but I think that the long car ride and picking up a two year old has been a contributing factor.

Medications: Lyrica, ibuprofrn, Tylenol PM.

Activities: 4hr car ride, roughhousing with a toddler, shopping a lot last night